i smiled today

Thursday, March 27, 2008

i smiled today at 11:19 PM

I was born to be a musician....

Musicians are taught to be aware of the vertical and linear aspects of music. It is the very core of appreciating music, the essence of playing a song, and the beauty of simple harmony.

The linear aspect of music is what makes the tune fluid and orgasmic - it keeps the rhythm flowing - it makes you wanna dance. It is the tune you hum, that melody that makes you think of the old days. Theoretically, it is the music you read in a score as if you were reading a sentence of words. Think of it as a musical sentence, moving from left to right, telling you a story perhaps.

The vertical is what can change your mood instantly, and make you stand in awe of that musical moment. It is the harmony or disharmony of the music - the momentum of the music that makes you feel the power of that precise split second. You can be transformed by the power of its verticality. So strong its power, that composers spend hours just mending their vertical musical lines, until perfection is reached. Theoretically, the vertical aspect of music is the chords and harmony, where many notes are put together to form greatness.

Think of life as having two axes, linear and vertical. The linear part of life is where we move constantly to complete our chores, rush to places, and plan how to kill our neighbours. It is the future in a way.

The vertical is what we never appreciate. That sudden extreme brief half of a split second when and where our minds float and take in a deep breath of life. It is that moment when we eat something so delicious, that we just want to sit down and let the taste melt in our body.... without thinking of grabbing another bite.

Carpe diem. Seize the day. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, enjoy today. Who knows hat could happen tomorrow :)

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today.

i smiled today at 4:37 PM

Growing up as a kid, I remember I used to love watching comedies on television. TV shows like Mr Bean and Mind Your Language would be the highlight of the evening, where the whole family would gather around, simply for a good laugh. The interesting thing is that even now, as an adult, I realise that I still enjoy having a good laugh while watching TV. I enjoy the sitcoms on TV like Everybody Love Raymond and FRIENDS.

Somehow, laughing just makes me feel good. It made me start wondering why we love to laugh, and why having a sense of humour is so important for us to continue feeling sane. Every time I receive my latest issue of Reader’s Digest, I immediately, and sometimes sub-consciously, flip to the section with all the humour and jokes. I am sure that I am not the only one who does this.

Mark Twain once said that humour is mankind’s greatest blessing. Staying happy is crucial for us as fragile human beings. We need to smile and laugh in order to feel good. So what actually happens when we laugh? What is so fascinating about having a sense of humour?

Science has proven that when we laugh, stress hormones reduce, and endorphins are released. Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers, and can make us feel happy. When we laugh, our endothelium (the thin layer inside our blood vessels) expands. On the other hand, stress narrows the endothelium. Any damage to the endothelium could lead to cardiovascular diseases, as the endothelium plays a role in maintaining blood flow. Laughing, as simple as it may seem, boosts our blood flow by about 20%.

Laughing and having a sense of humour definitely has a positive effect on our body’s physiology, as well as our mind’s psychology. We feel good when we laugh, and our emotions can suddenly change for the better after a good laugh. Laughing is an aerobic workout that stretches and exercises the diaphragm, increasing the body’s stability to use oxygen. This will provide us with more energy to survive through our hectic days at work or school. Apart from being a good exercise workout, laughing is also a tool to bond with friends and family. Sitting around the dining table laughing over dinner, or having a good laugh with friends can feel very enlightening and make the atmosphere feel so much relaxed.

So, since laughing is free and it has no negative side effects, it seems only wise that we should opt for creating a more relaxed environment in our homes, work place, or at school. How? Just smile more, laugh at your self or simply watch a funny TV show!

“A clown is like an aspirin, only he works twice as fast” - Groucho Mark.

i smiled today at 3:10 PM

The sun may be a powerful ball of gas, but it is still not as powerful as the clouds that block it. Sitting at the far end corner of the library here at La Salle, the sun's rays pierce through my skin for a few minutes, and then the next minute it is cloudy and it looks gloomy - only to find that several minutes later, it is bright again. That's the annoying thing of studying in a glass building.

My point is that I am in the library doing work.

Apart from doing my work which includes arranging a score for two Baroque pieces for my recital, and editing my thesis for the fiftieth time, I am browsing through some books to help keep me entertained.

Today's reading list:
1. Towards Cosmic Music, a book written by Karlheinz Stockhausen. I like this book, because it talks about some very philosophical and spiritual ideas of music, very deep. "You are what you sing" .. "Supra-Humanisation" .. "Cosmological Composition". You see, music isn't as simple as do re mi. There are very deep philosophical ideas behind the music of music. Music can be very spiritual and cosmological, unexplainable in a way. All thanks to the wacky ideas of Stockhausen.

2. The Voice Book, by Michael McCallion. The voice isn't as simple as we think either. Our habitual speaking abilities make it seem so. However, so much is involved when we try to release a sound from our body through our mouth. The brain is hard at work, and the body responds by producing the right tones and vowels and sounds and pitches and....... It's just not as simple as we think.

3. A Method of Aural Training by Eric Taylor. Boring book. Necessary to graduate.

4. Modern Theories of Performance, by Jane Milling and Graham Ley. Performance theories for theatre, but good for a musician's soul. This will be something I intend to look into more after I graduate.

5.Expressionism Reassessed. I like the expressionistic movement of the 20th century. It was a beautiful time when people abandoned the constraints of classical training and explored more internal emotions and conflicts. It affected music too.

And now suddenly, it starts pouring bulls and frogs.

I became aware that all sounds can make meaningful language. (Stockhausen)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

i smiled today at 10:44 PM

MBTI - it stands for Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a psychological instrument to explore the role of psychological type in your every day life.

It is a kind of personality test, where a psychologist takes your answers from a test that takes about half an hour to do. The answers get analysed, and a report is produced to tell you what your personality is.

In April 2006, I took this test, at 'NOW Services' in Petaling Jaya. NOW stands for New Opportunity for Wellness. www.now4life.com

After two years, I still have the report of my test. At first, some things were hard to believe. Am I really like that? I didn't believe everything in the report, but today, looking back, it is actually hauntingly accurate. It is as though this test revelaved more about me, than I could about myself.

According to the test, my personality is categorised as INTP.

I, for Introversion.
N, Intuition.
T, for Thinking, and
P, Perceiving.

I am an introvert, a term widely misunderstood. So let me get this straight, an introvert is not someone who is shy to talk or speak up. An introvert is not someone who doesn't mix with anyone else during social events. No, an introvert likes to focus his inner work of ideas and experiences. In other words, I direct my energy and attention inward, and receive energy from reflecting on my thoughts, memories, and emotions.

According to the test, an introvert:
- prefers to communicate through writing
- prefers mental "practice"
- is private and contained
- takes initiative when the situation or issue is very important.

As for N (Intuition), I am able to see the big picture, and focus on the relationships and connections between facts. Deep stuff, I know. We are very imaginative and verbally creative. We are inspiring people, and we are good at following our hunches. We make sure we know the facts and clarify any ideas or theories before doing anything.

T - Thinking, makes me a Thinker under this test. I am analytical and use logic to solve problems. I like to ensure everyone gets the same treatment. As a thinker, I mentally remove myself from a situation in order to examine the pros and cons objectively.

Finally, P (Perceiving) - it means that I am very spontaneous and flexible. I adapt well to changes, and feel energized by last minute pressures (oh how so very true!). I prefer experiencing and understanding life, rather than controling it.

The report then goes on to point out many other details:
- I am full of ideas but have difficulty in expressing logic
- I easily get lost in thought, and may seem arrogant or insensitive sometimes
- Keywords: Precision, Skeptical, Risk-taker, Improvisation, Competence
- I enjoy the challenge of an intellectual debate, with no regard to what side I am on
- These words trigger negative responses from me: Illogical, Emotional, SImplistic, Feelings, Incompetent
- I enjoy the abstract world

Some other highlights from my MBTI report:
- May avoid interpersonal conflict rather than work it out
- Enjoy thinking outside the box and coming up with new and untried solutions
- I like to hear global goals and ideas rather than specific plans
- Not easily swayed or convinced by emotional responses
- Once you get to know an INTP, they can be easygoing, tolerant, and casual

And, to communicate effectively with an INTP (in other words, to not piss me off):
- Pe prepared for debate and challenge
- Be patient with open-ended brainstorming sessions
- Expect me to critique and question
- Use logic and reason to convince me, be precise with your thoughts

Never:
- Focus on emotional or personal communications at work
- Tell me specifics about what to do or how to do it
- Personalise my need to question, critique, challenge, or debate

The report ends with what kinds of careers suit me, how I can improve relationships, and how I can deal more effectively with people of other personalities.

Yes, we are complicated human beings, accept the fact :)

Strength lies in differences, not in similarities. (Stephen Covey)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

i smiled today at 1:35 PM

The rain has very bad timing these days. It always rains when I want to go out, but never rains when I want to sleep in. Instead, when I am sleeping, the sun shines so bright, I could fry an egg on my backside.

My phone has some software problems. I think I accidentally wet it, but not sure. When my hectic life is over, meaning after I graduate, I shall send it off for repairs. As if it takes so much time so send a phone for repair!

The CLEO Bachelors will be in Deal or No Deal, holding the briefcases. Yeah, watch out for that episode. I was already in one episode, as part of the audience. So? :)

I made a to-do-list for myself, stuff I need to complete by the end of this week. And on the list I have 21 stuff to do. 21 stuff to do in a week, and these include - return library books, practice for recital, finalise format of my thesis, and complete Creative Project. I can't wait to graduate.

The newspaper has been boring lately. Or maybe it is just me, I don't know. But everything happening around the world lately hasn't been interesting. I think it is just me.

I want to watch a movie, but cinema ticket prices in Singapore are just too expensive. I'd rather spend the money on something else, like ice cream or buy a new phone.

I am trying to cut down on my food intake, which has increased by 15% in the past 4 months. Yeah right :)

Life is good. So keep smiling.

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally, perfect situations must go wrong.

Friday, March 21, 2008

i smiled today at 2:22 PM

Happy Good Friday to all,

And blessed Easter.

I shall update again, soon.

For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten son.....

i smiled today at 2:22 AM

I have been meaning to post this up for quite some time, but only now have I had the chance to write this and post it here.

Many people around me who do not study music every so often ask what it is like to be a music student. While there is no real answer to this, I think there are some interesting things that make us unique as students of music.

Oh, this reminds me that recently, I had a chat with a friend who proudly announced that he was studying genetic and molecular biology in college. When he asked me what I was studying, I proudly replied "sound and acoustic science"! Lame, thanks, I know.

Anyway, what is it like being a student of this science called music?

For starters, we live differently from many people.

For me, personally, being musically trained can be annoying and a blessing at the same time.

When you hear that sound from the lift/elevator when it opens/closes, that "ting-tong" sound. Ahhh, our minds straight away say "major 3rd, hmmm..."

Shopping in a mall can be very distracting when the music is being played loud. Our minds start doing stuff like "chord V - chord I - minor - diminished chord, hmmm..". And when some weird chord comes up, we go "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!"

Listening to a live band can be good, and bad, depending on how they play. When a wrong chord is being played, we feel a shiver down our spine, a few times! When a nice chord that is very rare and special is used, we go "oooooooh wow!". Oh wow indeed. Chords are what create harmony and disharmony to our ears.

When a mistake is obvious, our eyes turn away, and our heads start to shake. Like when the singers and musicians do not come in together. Ah, disaster strikes.

After all that being said, life is made complete with the presence of bad and good music. It is what makes us laugh and cry. And at the end of the day, music is the food of life. How very poetic!

Where words fail, music speaks.

i smiled today at 1:29 AM

I am back, older, and wiser!

And again, I apologize for this short break. I have been doing a lot lately in life since I last blogged. And after I explain myself, you will be very understanding and we shall be friends again.

You see, after my last blog entry, life suddenly became very very very packed with all sorts of stuff to do... be it personal, academic, or just for fun's sake.

I had to present my thesis on Bach, to a crowd of students, and to a panel of torturing lecturers. It went well, if you read my last entry. And so after the presentation, I had to work on my first official draft to be submitted to my supervisor. That was tough. Why? Because writing a thesis isn't fun. Why? Because if it was easy, every one would be doing it with a smile!

Then, I had to work on my creative project. Not easy too, but I completed it because I do not want it to drag my other work. Life felt much better after that burden got lifted.

My birthday was interesting this year. I would like to thank all those who wished me a happy birthday, via SMS, Facebook, Friendster, MSN, or in person. Your thoughts touched me and I am blessed for every one in my life.... And I had a great birthday. I tried foie gras for the first time in my life. I had a very posh meal at an Italian restaurant thanks to Joanne. I enjoyed being pampered by an outpouring of gifts. OK, not that dramatic. But it was still very memorable. I feel young, inside and out. Because life is beautiful and I am not going to let some number destroy my optimism! Haha!

I was busy a little also, for something fun coming my way, and perhaps your way... I am one of CLEO's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors in Malaysia. So grab a copy of the April issue which just came out. Will be updating more on this when the time is right.

I also attended several auditions, trying to venture more into the art world. Trying to find my comfort zone in the world of performing arts, and to build a stronger network. Ahhh, OK, after all that said, I did not get through any of the auditions. But I guess there were no roles suitable for someone of my height and mixed looks. I auditioned for a sci-fi musical, and Broadway Parodies Lagi Lah! and some other smaller stuff. Exciting stuff. I have a few more auditions lined up to keep me busy for a while.

I have been busy practicing for my final recital too. Practicing more than I ever have, surprising even myself! I am getting nervous. And I need to prepare my programme booklet for the recital too. Busy. Busy. Busy. So forgive me if once in a while, there are no updates here. All you have to do is... pressure me to write something. Like what Vivian and Cecilia did today. And voila, something comes up here magically!

Perseverance, positivity, enthusiasm, discipline & patience (Glamorique)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

i smiled today at 5:42 PM

It has been a rather long week in College...

I had my thesis presentation on Wednesday - a big day for us because this presentation contributes 20% to the entire module. It is a tough presentation for us, because after our presentation comes the Challenge Section, where the examiners, one by one, challenge us with questions. Our rapid responses and quick and swift thinking (and correct facts) and how we choose to answer, all contribute to higher marks. Pausing before answering results in lower marks, and giving slight hints of uncertainty would be worse. So, stressful it was. But I am glad it is over, for me, for now. I have some nice pictures of my presentation, which will be posted up later.

Kanye West blogged about La Salle http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/?em3106=192455_-1__0_~0_-1_2_2008_0_0

It has been raining every day in Singapore. I woke up today, and it was dark. I thought it was still early, but it was already 10am. And please do not react just because I said I woke up at 10am. For the past few days, I have been having very little sleep, preparing for my thesis presentation. Which, by the way, went very well according to my standards. Thanks to those who made it possible!

I have been indulging in wholewheat bread with a generous dose of margarine, and a think layer of strawberry jam, topped with a slice of reduced fat cheese. That has been my staple for the past week. I am still loving it but I expect this phase to cease soon. I have also been making myself 2 soft-boiled eggs every day, with pepper and soy sauce. Yummy.

I have been reading too much about Bach lately. But the more I read, the more I realise how every musician should know him more.

Malaysian General Elections coming up. May the best people win. And may the not so good people lose.

I recently auditioned for a musical. Don't know the results yet. Will keep everyone posted, if it is at all interesting to anyone.

Hint on what is coming up..... I'm eligible. Don't comment on this if you already know, ;-)

I watched several movies lately - The Mist, Kung Fu Dunk, Vantage Point. But I can't wait for the summer, 'cause that's when we'll get to see all the good movies!

My birthday is coming up in a week. Which means this blog will be dedicated to some interesting life stories, like last year. So stay tuned.

And because I am finally a quarter of a century old, I finally understand what my parents mean when they say they feel old. ;-)

And also to celebrate my 25 years on earth, I have decided to save up money to buy myself something. Maybe won't buy it so soon, but will start saving up for it. After two years of careful surveying, observing, and deep-thinking, I have finally decided to switch to Mac. I want a MacBook, Apple's version of a laptop. I am fed up of using a PC. OK, I will still be using a PC for now, but when I get enough money, I want to get my first Apple MacBook. And like I said, this was not a hasty decision, so I know I am doing the right thing.

If you've been updating yourself with current news, you'd know that Mas Selamat, some guy, escaped from prison or something like that. Lazy to talk about the entire story here. Anyway, his pictures are everywhere. Still, honestly, if I really see him, I don't think I'd recognise him anyway. But, well, latest news is that Mas Selamat is in Malaysia... how do they know that? It says 'Selamat datang' all over Malaysia!

Numberless are the world's wonders, but none
More wonderful than man...